Future is MINE...

Since a stupid girl complains that I don't update my xanga anymore after I get the new job, so here I write some SHITS here...LOL....

Well....after I got rid of that stupid fucking mean Indian boss, now I have 2 nice BOSSES....they both name DAN, birthday in August, about the same age, both love cycling (50 miles a day!!!!!!!! IT's really crazy!) but each of them has an unique character. Dan Carhart is a very funny guy, he always jokes around, from the time he starts his work at Minuteman Press, he start joking.....until the minute he leaves the door. He is very hilarious....all the jokes that he tells are extremely interesting and funny, even sometimes I don't quite get them, I still enjoy his facial expression!!! LOL........He says he is a very mean person, he cusses on his employees; he yells at his employees...But I don't think he is mean because that's a boss' being. You got to have a boss attitude; otherwise, the employees won't listen to you since they think you are not that serious about their mistakes. Every morning, he calls me with different names...sometimes he calls me Miss Tin, MIss Lam, Tin, Nikki, Nicky, Miss Nikki Tin, Nikki Lam, Chinese girl, gal, Smarty....and so on.....He always comes up with different names, so sometimes I don't even know if he is calling me or someone else....LOL....Dan Fries is a quiet person, and he does not talk much. If he is in a good mood on that day, he will be sort of talkative; otherwise, he always work, work and work.....He is a very good sales as most of the customers love to deal with him and talk to him....Well...both of them are nice, and I am glad that I quitted my previous job, and now working at this company...My friends always ask me "is this job better than the last job?" Then I laugh like crazy as I said....10000000000 times better...No job will be as worst as my last job...NONE...

My brother is back to HK as an exchange student until the end of December, and I hope he still survives in HK as I know he kinda misses USA now....wahahahahaha......Besides, he had lots of FUN in his primary school union and I am looking forward to mine too...Then my stupid fatsie always hides the secret from me, soooo i hate her soo much.....She should share her problems and unhappiness with me coz I will always be there for her...hohohohohohoho.......ANyways, time to do housework....update later...wahaha

Is that right?

I started my graphic design job on March 13 (approximately....I guess)...and I have been working over there for ALMOST 2 months. Honestly, I do not know why I am still working there though....I so wanna quit this job....I have this thought since the first day of work....Everyday there is a camera installed right behind me, which monitors what I am doing at my desk.  I feel so unsecured as someone is monitoring me every second....No matter what I do, someone will know..someone is watching.....even I scratch my ASS, eat snacks...yawn....take nap.......I really hate that....They install the cameras everywhere in the company...even install them at stairs, in front of bathroom...and more and more......

My friends tell me that it will be nicer if I have a FULL TIME graphic designer experience on my resume than any other part time or freelance experience. I understand, and I think it's true too. However, after 2 years, I am still at the entry level because I am NOT learning anything in that company. WHY? Maybe you guys will think...I am still new at that company, so they don't assign any design jobs to me. The truth is...they pass all the production tasks to me, so they can PURELY work on the design projects. Everyday I take pictures of the new products, and then I add them online with full descriptions and info...I am more doing a web site maintenance job. I do not have a chance to design online articles, newsletters, weekly specials....and so on....I think the designers are happy with my presence because they can concentrate on design works...They are doing something they like...and I am doing something I hate....SEE? Life sucks...I won't complain it's unfair because I am new...But I need to think about my future....If I stay there for longer time, this won't do me any good because I have nothing to write on the resume....Plus, I don't have time to work on my portfolio...In fact, I can't quit this job because i need money...This is the real life...haha....

Another thing that I hate this job the most is...I SHARE bathroom with MEN, GUYS and SENIOR OLD MEN....Yup...Men can use lady's bathroom even it has the lady sign on the door...No one cares about that...I hate to see when a man walks out from the lady's bathroom, zip up his pant outside the bathroom...Why can't he do that inside? Why should I share bathroom with Guys? They always mess up the lady's room and make it HELLA dirty...Smell Bad....Nasty shit all over the floor....We can't complain because even our boss  goes to the lady's room...!!!

Everyday after I get off from work, I search for jobs online...but the market is soo slow because the U.S. economy is going down.....down to the bottom of the cliff....Most companies do not want to offer full time employee's benefits, so they only offer part time positions.....Working as a part time employee is not bad as long as I can learn a lot from that job. Sigh.....time to read some books...hahha....I need to learn how to make a web site...a dynamic one...haha

A quote from my friend, "research has found that perceiving that there is discrimination against you is significantly related to both physical and mental health. those who experience discrimination by both gender n race are therefore the most vulnerable.  so for wutever sakes, find a new job asap =]" That's 200% true to my current situation....But Tonite I gonna say something positive.....I need some positive thoughts sticking in my mind in order to keep myself running like a PIG! LOL......

Tomorrow I am going to attend 46th Honor Convocation....YUP...Somehow I obtain a Dean Scholar in this stupid SJSU....Well..even though I don't like this school, I am glad that my effort earn me a honor....LOL.......Today when I told my senior designer that I need to leave early tomorrow afternoon, her face turned hella black as obviously she did not want me to go early......I need to go...that's what i said to her...haha....FEEL soo good by giving SOME degree of attitude to others....I am not the type of person who would like to show off my power or giving attitude to somebody...But for this case, I suddenly have a thought of being mean to others....I used to behave myself...act like a rabbit, talk like a rabbit...This is absolutely not Lam Tin Yan.....

This afternoon, me and Ken went out and had lunch together...We were not going to any restaurant, but we just found a parking lot and ate our lunch there....Now I become his personal wedding consultant, even though I never marry anybody....hahaha....He asked me which one is the best Chinese restaurant for wedding bonquet....also floral decoration....photography......party favor....or so on so on...Now I realize it's HELLLLLLLLA expensive to host a wedding ceremony...Everything is about money....Their engagement ring is about $20,000 USD """EACH"""' Hell yea...EACH....aren't they too expensive? Only an engagement ring costs them lots of money...American culture=engagement ring is equal to a diamond ring! OMG....I said why it has to be diamond? Can't it be something else? Ken said NO. It's REQUIRED! I feel bad for him...since he has to spend soo much money on this wedding...and I think he has to get 2 or 3 part time job in order to save a big amount of money.....Under careful estimation, he has to spend at least at least $100,000 for his wedding. But no matter what, Congratulation to KEN AND NAT! They are perfect match! They started dating since they were in high school, and they first met each other was in a badminton tournament...haha....Soo romantic! Let me do some research and see what's good for party favor.....Give me some suggestions if whoever reads this has a thought or something.....hohohohohoh....Time to sleep.....TIRED

Bad Job with GOOD Nikki

Well....Everything goes pretty smooth in the company because I work from day to dawn.....Once I get my ass stick to my chair, I never get a chance to stand up and relax....Almost 9 hours straight work....even though I have one hour lunch, I do not get a chance to relax just because there are too much works. YUP.....U can never imagine "TOO MUCH.......", how heavy will that be? I cannot find a damn word to fit in there....Just a lot a lot and a lot.........They keep assigning the new projects to me...always ask me to put those tasks on the top of my TO-DO List, but have they ever thought how long my TO-DO List is right now? LONGGGGGGGGG.......1 page? 2 pages? 5 pages? Nah..........maybe 10!!! I realize that I can never get those tasks done...and my To-Do List will keep expanding and expanding..........

ARRRRRRRRRRRR............I hate this job! I hate the BOSS...I am 300% sure that he is an ASSSSSSS Hole....U do not want to meet him in person...just because he is arrogant, he always think he is the best, he is the smartest one...however, he is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN HIM........He always changes the deadline of all the projects.............I hate him....Complain without giving any concrete suggestions....YEA....Keep saying...."This is not GOOD...This is BAD...This is way below the average...Can you tell me how I can make the works that FITS your taste, your standard, your requirement? You pay me $12 per hour, what do you expect from me? WTF!!!! YOU SUCK>.......<

Man...it's time to stop complaining....i am going crazy.........I have all the resentment in my heart...that I cannot find a way out to release........to share...........DAMN IT............really....DAMN THIS JOB.....When will i get a great job!? A job that I like...I want to do...I have the passion to work on........I am waiting....waiting for someone to rescue me.........Now all I can do is...Stick my butt to that damn chair and WORk my Ass off everyday.......EXHAUSTED...Everyday, every hour, every second...I have a thought of quitting this job....YUP....every seconds.....I always ask...why should I torture myself here? The answer is....I need money....I NEED MONEY....ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Wow.....Back to Xanga

Busy x 10000000000000.........This is what i can describe for my life recently.........

I hate my job. Yes, I do hate this job. Not only because they paid me a very low hourly wage, but people who work there suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCK x 100000000000000000000...........................

I always picture what will my first full time job be? Will I enjoy the actual office work? The answer is NO! It seems like I am working in a ONE MAN WORLD....Nobody talks to you, cares about you, and you work by yourself for more than 8 hours a day. (not including lunch time...) What kind of job is that?  while people have no interaction at all.........OMG, I am going to be crazy soon...I doubt.....How can I not talking for more than 8 hours at a place? How can people survive there? There are TONS of rules to follow....And no one can break the rule....NO cell phone, no chating, no eating, no stretching, no casual wear....no....NO...and NOOOOOOOO...So many NO...going on in this company......What a routine job!!!! People who work there look like ROBOT....inemotional....passive.....boring.....cool.......ARRRRRRRRRR.........WTH??!!!

MY boss is an Indian, and he is cheap and cheap and cheap....no benefits for the first 6 months....What a boss!!!!....ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......I don't like him anyways...and therefore, I don't bother to talk to him since he does not talk to me too......wahahaha....He really has attitude.......A MEAN INDIAN GUY.......

I don't have a chance to CREATE....but keep dulplicating....editing......copying......I act like a photo copier, or copy machine....I am pretty sure that my creativity will soon be gone.....YUP...as I don't get a chance to use my brain, it will definitely become a hard stone.....Well......I know I should stop complaining.......I don't have a damn choice because I am an inexperienced designer. Who wants to hire a designer who knows nothing but shits? No employer would like to take a risk to hire an idiot....hahahaha.........MAN>....< I am going to expose....I hate high heel shoes, which make my foot tired and painful everyday I get off from work.....I hate wearing suit because it makes me feeling sooo uncomfortable.......AND the main point is I have to spend hella money on buying suit and shirts and pants and high heel shoes.......while I don't even get my stupid paid check....Why the hell I have to spend lots of money on something that I don't like? It's soo ironic, but it happens now.

One day I will become a motionless robot....and......